new leaf

hello peeps.
happy new year 2013!

As for me half of 2012 was not so good. I was demotivated, helpless, and I really felt left out.
I guess bcoz im missing him. I was once a heart broken.

But since months ago, Im living well. No more negative thoughts. With a new spirit, new goal.
Im becoming more grateful, trying to live the way Allah had plan for me. Alhamdulillah
I feel more occupied right now . I feel happier-you can see my pipi bam bam bam right now.

I hope I can update more, but always forget since I have  lots of things to do.
im currently staying at the library after class so that I can be more  discipline in studying. That's the only place that I wont get distracted. :p

hope 2013 will be a good year for me. :)

The day that I will never forget

Today, waking up late. Arrived for ward training 15 minutes before 10 o'clock.
Upon arrival, I get into the ward. Seeing the doctor and my friends doing gastric lavage on Mr Hanafi. He had history of vomiting blood several times this week. Doing gastric lavage to remove the blood from his stomach. He looked helpless, his wife who stand beside him started to worry. I've seen her crying before, when his husband had an attack of haematemesis (vomit blood) before .

Then  the doctor taught us to measure his central venous pressure. He had more than 12 mmHg, so we considered  him to be hypervolemic. So the doctor give him adrenaline. Before that, the doctor ask one of us to measure his blood pressure. So I did,  trying so hard to feel his radial pulse on his arm, but couldnt feel it even I try to feel it on his ABG site (the site to take arterial blood sample, in radial artery)So I just skip the palpatory method and try to feel his brachial artery on his arm just up before the elbow. It was so weak, I barely feel it. Then continue to put my stethoscope on the site, and try to measure his pulse. But I couldnt hear anything. I was wonder if I did wrong, try to feel his brachial artery again, and did the same thing. Negative. I asked my friend to measure then, but she did a few times and couldnt measure it too. We just told the doctor, and the doctor said he was in shocked and having pulseless electrical activity, means that his heart is still beating, but there no pulse could be felt. That's why we couldn't feel it.

After minutes later, Emergency doctors came to our room. I couldnt see what happened to him bcoz we were asked to get out from the room. It was a hectic situation, where the doctors and nurses came in and out of the ward. Hours later, he died. I could watch her family especially his wife, crying outside the ward. With her handphones trying to call someone. I guess some family members. I feel sorry for them. Al fatihah.

It was the most precious experience indeed.

My story

I love this saying, because i've been through it before.
Long before, I used to have negative feelings. I was frustrated. I was envious on what other people have.
I always have this thought,
why other's people's lives are better than me
why they have such a good company
why they so perfect
why  this and that...

for having this though, you would say, what kind of person I was
I was  ungrateful, for not being content with what I had at that moment
The reason why I feel  like that, because I cant see the good and how much Allah have give me all this while.

I dont know how to say this. I am a person who like an attachment with people. I need best friend,. I dont care even if I only have 1 best friend. From my childhood, to high school time, I used to have best friends. Not many, just 1 or 2. But we shared almost everything together. We laughed at joke that nobody understand , only us. We could even understand each other by eye contacts. so cool isn't it?
People envied our relationship. I didnt care if I didn't get so close to other people. I got so attached to her, but now, she's gone. I am left alone in this place.

Furthermore, I lost the person I love at that moment. I were so depend on them, now they'd gone.
I was shocked,and keep asking why this happened.I felt lonely. Me and my best friend were not really contact each other since each of us have been busy. I didn't keep up with her latest story, and when I knew her story,it's from someone else and it's already  late. We used to see each other when Im back home, but it was just 2-3 times.

The same thing happened here. Allah tested me again and again. I keep losing them,the people I thought I treasure the most. I got lost. I was completely deviated from my path.


I was frustrated, I was sad, I feel pain, I feel helpless, my heart ached so much more than I could bear.
I couldn't study, I used to cry every single night. nobody knew because I never told anyone. I got depressed.
My results dropping , thankfully Allah did help me going through it. I passed my exam. Alhamdulillah.

Then I came to realize, that people come and go. Nothing is permanent in this world.  Its fake.
When I came to realize it, I try to change my point of view. Remember Allah will replace anything you loss with better things. I have to accept when people leave . I start to be content with what I have. I try not to get so attached with people, so I wont get hurt. It works. Of course it took some time for me to understand this, it's hard but it's not impossible. As long I dont hurt anyone, its ok for me.

In life, you just have to follow the path in front of you, if not you will get stressed. We could only try our best to reach our goal and needs. If you fail, dont give up. Try until you succeed. Also you need to know when to stop when you need to. Stop depending on others and material things to be happy. Its wasting our time and energy. You body will get deprived.

Of course I cant tell everything here. That was only some part of it. Past is past. Im not going to look back again, but I will learn from it.

I've set my goal, and I have promise that I wont let anything stop my way including emotional things.
I am happy with  what I have now. Alhamdulillah. :)

Dont tie your goal to people and things, they will frustrate you. When you get frustrated, you dont want to work. am I right?

'being grateful is the key of happiness'
be thankful to Allah and He will add more insyaALLAH.


till then bye!

Luxor and Aswan

Hello everyone.

Alhamdulillah. After 2 and half months, im back to Egypt to continue my study. its hard to leave my beloved country, Malaysia, the best place ever. No matter how good other places are, no other can beat your hometown.

So i arrived here in 3rd oct, few days later i got to know the class start on 14. i was a bit frustrated. So, I decided to go on a holiday. yay! i can say its a revenge. dont even mind to skip my class on the first day. sapa suruh start lambat kan! :p

tadela sedih sgt pun, saje exaggerated sikit. Hikmah balik awal, dapat jalan-jalan. tapi klu tak jalan-jalan, mmg tak happy la. :)

so let's start laa..

9 October 2012

Going to cairo by first class train. woohoo. it's not me who bought the first class ticket, my travel agent did.
Then, after we  arrived at Ramsis station, we had to go to Giza to take our sleeping train to Aswan. We waited for two hours for our sleeping train. Sitting on our bag and chatting among us.

I can say its cozy in there. 12 hours journey to Aswan must be tiring, fortunately we could sleep in the sleeping train. Basically its like a room, you can lock the room and do whatever you want without others seeing you. :)

10 October 2012

We reached Aswan. Our travel agent took us for sight seeing in Aswan. Aswan is not like i was imagined, it's far more better than i thought. It's clean!

The first place we visited was the high and lower dam. Subhanallah, i cant take my eyes on it. Indeed, it's beautiful. The nile river captured my heart. :)

Next, went to philae's temple. It's a temple of love. Love between God Isis to his husband, God Osiris. Noted that all their Gods are just a statue. There's about 2000 gods in their believe! The story is kinda interesting.

 temple of the god of love during pharoanic period. a love story between god isis to his husband osiris. (all their god are actually a statue). it's the battle of the gods which set(other god) had killed osiris bcoz he performed an adultery with his wife, nephtys. nephtys had run away. set had cut osiris in 14 pieces and put all the pieces in every 14 cities in egypt but isis , found them all except one part . -told by our tourist guide.
 copy paste from things i already wrote on my flickr
After that, we went to our cruise,enjoying the rest of the day on the cruise.

otw to the philae temple

philae

the cruise

Add caption

11 October 2012

On the next day we went to Nubian Village. Nubian is the ppl of the southern Sudan and Northern Egypt. We went there by a boat. it took about 40 minutes.

some scenery by the nile river

just arrived

those camels were for us. First time me riding a camel.

he wanted me to put the crocodile on my lap. I said NO!

touching would be enough

Again we spent the rest of the day on the cruise.  We were excited because the cruise will start to sail to Luxor.

At night, we went to Kolo'om'bo temple. The temple of crocodile. 

12October 2012

As early as 6.30 am, we went to Edfu temple. The most complete temple in Egypt.

in front of the holy boat. btw, its not real one, the real one is at the museum of louvre ,Paris

watching a performance at night on the cruise

13 October 2012

We went to the valley of the king and the hatsepsut temple. We should visit few others temple, but the weather on that day was too hot, and we were tired. So we just stayed on the cruise, and relax.

the valley of the king

temple of hatsepsut the queen

collossi of Memnon

We left at night. I want to write more detail, but too lazy since i wrote all the details of each places and temples on my flickr already. till then..

ciao!

START

So this is my first post in this blog. its my new blog. My 4th blog currently, haha.

Back then, i made a blog, but i deleted it few days after its launching. haha. reason? segan ar tulis blog!

my 2nd blog, was the most active one. i thought i'd be using it for the rest of my life, ceh, but due to a certain reason, i make it private.

then, my 3rd blog, i want to try something new (kononnya) . Guna wordpress. But wordpress is hard to be used. Maybe because im used to blogspot already. then i gave up. haha.

So this is the 4th one. say hi to my new blog. I hope only good memories will be written on it. insyaAllah.

i made this blog, for me  and my loved ones to read. of course you are part of it, readers! so cheers!

im not sure if i'll be able to keep writing in this blog. im not sure if i would share it to the public,just wait and see how far I can go.

till then i'll write again. insyaAllah .I write in English because I want to practice. My grammar 'tunggang langgang' , and forgot all the rules. im writing based on 'agak-agak betul' and sometimes I google. haha

So, if you notice some mistakes here and there, just act like you dont see k. Or you can just comment about my mistake below in the comment area :)